Thursday, November 02, 2006

THE RODEO





A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said ""This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated
50 times last year."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year.
"The wife gave her husband healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's rib, said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go ask him if it was with the same cow."
NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and he should eventually make a full recovery

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man sat in the dental chair, and when the dentist was about to give him
an injection he said "No No No"
so the dentist brought out the gas mask, again the man said "No No No"
"Well can you take pills" said the Dentist
"Yes" said the man so, the Dentist gave him a Viagra pill
"I didn't know this worked for mouth pain" said the man
"It doesn't!" said the Dentist
"but it will give you something to hold on to while I pull out your tooth!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Ole was working at the fish plant up north when he accidently cut off all ten of his fingers.
He went to the emergency room in the Clinic. When he got there, the doctor looked at Ole and said, "Let's have the fingers, and I'll see what I can do."
Ole said "I haven't got the fingers."
"What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers?" he said.
"Lord-it's 2006! Ive got, microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back on, and made you like new! why didn't you bring the fingers?"
Ole says........
"How da f**k was I suppose to pick them up?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart.
The spirit should not grow old."

James A. Garfield

19 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ole may have had more missing than his fingers??

November 02, 2006 10:45 pm  
Blogger Crazedmomof4 said...

Thanks for the laughs! :D

November 02, 2006 10:54 pm  
Blogger UKBob said...

Ha ha ha!!! I like the dentist joke, it has real meaning after having been there myself this week - now I know what the sharp pointy thing was that the dentist had in his hand!! See my posting for the 31st Oct.

November 03, 2006 12:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very funny jokes Jan, I don't believe I had a favourite they were all so good. Thanks for visit to my site, Take care Margaret

November 03, 2006 12:12 am  
Blogger Gwen said...

Hi Mate..L.O.L,
I always knew you could ride,and I've been to that dentist.
See you later..

November 03, 2006 12:21 am  
Blogger JunieRose2005 said...

LOL-- GOOD JOKES!



Junie

November 03, 2006 2:58 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wowowowowowowowowoowooooouch.
that finger one was aaaaaaaaaaaaawful.
(:

(to close to home, our neighbor put his hand in a chipper the year before last. Then he had a heart attack. I wasn't home or I probably would have had an attack, too)

November 03, 2006 3:10 am  
Blogger Sue said...

Great Jokes Jan! I shared these with my husband and we both had a good laugh!

November 03, 2006 4:44 am  
Blogger Gattina said...

Ha, ha ! I liked the one with the "different cows" nice ! I am busy to write something about new russian millionaires I saw yesterday evening on TV.

November 03, 2006 4:01 pm  
Blogger Wendy A said...

Funny! Loved the bull joke. Always looking for an excuse to laugh!. Thanks.

November 03, 2006 9:10 pm  
Blogger Sorlil said...

ha ha you Australians sure love your jokes (my sis-in-law is the funny bone!, the viagra one is hilarious

November 04, 2006 12:09 am  
Blogger PEA said...

LOL love them all! I've printed them out for my mom, she loves jokes like that and tells them at their gatherings at the apartment building where she lives:-)

November 04, 2006 3:36 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jen, Jen, Jen. I loved the bull joke but will have to explain it to my wife.:) You crack me up. By the way since I am new to your blog who is Cazz? Never see any posts from a Cazz. Keep the jokes coming. Australian women... I tell you they are corkers.

November 04, 2006 6:29 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jan ~ Good jokes there, always good to have a laugh. Loved the quote too.
Thank you for your comments. Glad you liked the Friend poem, and jokes.
Take care, my friend, Love, Merle.

November 05, 2006 12:18 am  
Anonymous Merle. said...

Hi again Jan, Thanks for your comments, glad you enjoyed Grandma's Day. I was amazed she played "When you come to the end of a perfect day" after all that
work. Thanks for your concern for my
cousin. Take care, Love, Merle.

November 05, 2006 6:37 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love these jokes. Shall be spreading them around the family here in England.

November 06, 2006 12:36 am  
Blogger Janice said...

Hi,

Thanks for the Funny!

Janice~

November 06, 2006 5:59 pm  
Blogger LittleJen said...

Hi Mum, funny jokes as normal.

see you on the weeekend, have a safe trip.

Luv Jo

November 06, 2006 9:45 pm  
Blogger slap me happy said...

that dentist sounds like a pervert
xx
shona

November 09, 2006 4:52 pm  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home