THE RODEO

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said ""This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated
50 times last year."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year.
"The wife gave her husband healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's rib, said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go ask him if it was with the same cow."
NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and he should eventually make a full recovery

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A man sat in the dental chair, and when the dentist was about to give him
an injection he said "No No No"

so the dentist brought out the gas mask, again the man said "No No No"
"Well can you take pills" said the Dentist
"Yes" said the man so, the Dentist gave him a Viagra pill
"I didn't know this worked for mouth pain" said the man
"It doesn't!" said the Dentist

"but it will give you something to hold on to while I pull out your tooth!!"

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Ole was working at the fish plant up north when he accidently cut off all ten of his fingers.

He went to the emergency room in the Clinic. When he got there, the doctor looked at Ole and said, "Let's have the fingers, and I'll see what I can do."

Ole said "I haven't got the fingers."

"What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers?" he said.

"Lord-it's 2006! Ive got, microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back on, and made you like new! why didn't you bring the fingers?"

Ole says........

"How da f**k was I suppose to pick them up?

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If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart.
The spirit should not grow old."
James A. Garfield