Thursday, November 09, 2006

LITTLE JOHNNY

Hi all had a quiet few days after my Grandaughters went home. Went Shopping in Albury(thats about 1 hr away) today with my sister Pauline, My mate Gwen Then went to Lunch at Elgins A very nice hotel,then more shopping and finally home. Now packing, Gwen and myself are off too Melbourne for the weekend staying with my son Gary, As Joanne's little Daughter in her 1st concert .
see you all on my return
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.
Little Johnny's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him, and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that, if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears, or even said the word ears! he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby.
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."
Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see? "
"Yes", the mother replied, we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnny,
"cos he'd be f*cked if he needed glasses."



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HAMMERED IN COURT

A man was in court for a double murder and the judge said, "You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You bastard!"
The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a hammer."
Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out,
"You damn bastard!"
The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the courtroom, and said, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you, or I shall charge you with contempt! Now is that a problem?"
The man at the back of the court stood up and responded,
"For fifteen years I lived next door to that bastard and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he never had one!"

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Just A Few Ponderisms
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" ..
So I bought her an electric chair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy
a replacement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

20 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh I'm late for work... but laughing all the way

November 10, 2006 2:58 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too am supposed to be getting ready for work, here I am reading and laughing. Catch up again after my Hols. Margaret

November 10, 2006 10:33 am  
Blogger JunieRose2005 said...

:)

Loved that Little Johnny Joke!!


June

November 10, 2006 10:36 am  
Blogger PEA said...

LOL I love the little Johnny jokes, they are just tooooo precious! Great jokes today, Jeanete, keep them coming:-) Hope you had a great day!!

November 10, 2006 11:09 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jan, hope you have a good trip to Melbourne, visit, concert, Brandy.

November 10, 2006 4:17 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jan ~ Glad you had a good day in Albury, and I hope the trip to Melbourne is great for you all. Good luck to the performer. Loved the jokes, See you when you get back. Love, Merle.

November 10, 2006 9:28 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have a great weekend. I really love your jokes, I read them out to Mick as I know he will appreciate the humour - he has always been the joke teller in the family and its good to hear some new ones.
Rx

November 10, 2006 9:57 pm  
Blogger Sorlil said...

hee hee great jokes! Hope you have a nice time in Melbourne.

November 11, 2006 3:04 am  
Blogger Janice said...

Hi Jeannete,

LOL on the jokes.

Enjoy your Rememberance weekend! (it's Veterants day in the states)

Janice~

November 11, 2006 12:13 pm  
Blogger Jim said...

Hi Jeanette -- When I was a baby my ears stuck out too far. Mom taped them down until Grandpa made her stop doing that.

Thanks a lot, your Bogong Moth is now November Bug on my blog. Their wing span is a couple of inches? (about 50mm?)
http://jimmiehov.blogspot.com/
..

November 11, 2006 5:46 pm  
Blogger DellaB said...

oooh - that Bogong Moth gives me goose-bumps...

How was your weekend?

November 11, 2006 11:05 pm  
Blogger roybe said...

Enjoy your trip to Melbourne Jeanette, our best city I think.

November 12, 2006 8:33 pm  
Blogger HORIZON said...

lol- you're a funny lady.
That last quote makes you think?? lol
Hope your keeping well.
Bests for now

November 13, 2006 9:13 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trust little Johnny to be the most honest of the group. Sounds like you are enjoying life and that is how it should be.

November 14, 2006 8:35 am  
Blogger Meow said...

Hi Jen, hope the weekend went well. You weren't by any chance at a dance concert at Aquinus College in Ringwood, were you ???? That's where my Chicky's concert was Friday night and Sunday avo.
Love your jokes, as usual, always make me smile.
Take care, Meow

November 14, 2006 10:04 am  
Blogger Wendy A said...

Thanks for the laugh. I needed that after the dreary cold weather.
Love the little Jonny jokes.

November 14, 2006 9:07 pm  
Blogger meggie said...

Loved the laughs.
Hope you have enjoyed your weekend away!
I am off to NZ on Sat, so I will have 2 weeks of laughs with my brother.

November 15, 2006 11:50 am  
Blogger UKBob said...

Hi Jen, hope the trip to Melbourne went well, Was the a school concert or something else?

November 15, 2006 7:30 pm  
Blogger Gwen said...

Hi Mate..You and your jokes,they
always give you a laugh.
See you soon P.S.dont give too much
info on Melb Ha!!Ha!!

November 15, 2006 9:05 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi all So that I dont disturb Mick with all the beeps and squeaks that computers make I never have the sound on. As I'd been playing a CD on the computer the sound was still on when I came to have a look yesterday at your blog. For the first time I heard G'day G'day. I woke up with it playing in my head this morning! Such a catchy little ditty.
P.S. The family are loving all the jokes I'm telling them

November 16, 2006 8:03 am  

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