LITTLE JOHNNY

Hi all had a quiet few days after my Grandaughters went home. Went Shopping in Albury(thats about 1 hr away) today with my sister Pauline, My mate Gwen Then went to Lunch at Elgins A very nice hotel,then more shopping and finally home. Now packing, Gwen and myself are off too Melbourne for the weekend staying with my son Gary, As Joanne's little Daughter in her 1st concert .

see you all on my return

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Little Johnny's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him, and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that, if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears, or even said the word ears! he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby.
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."
Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see? "
"Yes", the mother replied, we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnny,
"cos he'd be f*cked if he needed glasses."

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HAMMERED IN COURT

A man was in court for a double murder and the judge said, "You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You bastard!"
The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a hammer."
Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out,

"You damn bastard!"
The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the courtroom, and said, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you, or I shall charge you with contempt! Now is that a problem?"
The man at the back of the court stood up and responded,

"For fifteen years I lived next door to that bastard and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he never had one!"

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Just A Few Ponderisms

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She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" ..
So I bought her an electric chair.

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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy

a replacement.

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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a

whole box to start a campfire?

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