Wednesday, February 06, 2008

How to plant a garden

Hi everyone, Yesterday I played lawn bowls it was so hot and humid out on the green I thought I was going to melt away PPHHEWW, was our last day of pennant for the season, we had a loss and didnt make the finals, Well there's always next season,but still a lot of bowling happening, Social most Tuesdays, Wednesdays and also a lot of Comps at different clubs to enter on various days, Thursday im off to play lawn bowls in the morning then Carpet bowls in the afternoon 1st time for new year,Well thats all folk im bushed so off to have early night ..
A few more jokes tonight

How To Plant Your Garden
First, you come to the garden alone,
While the dew is still on the roses....

1. Peace of mind

2. Peace of heart

3. Peace of soul


1. Squash gossip

2. Squash indifference

3. Squash grumbling

4. Squash selfishness


1. Lettuce be faithful
2. Lettuce be kind
3. Lettuce be patient
4. Lettuce really love one another


1. Turnip for meetings
2. Turnip for service
3. Turnip to help one another

1. Thyme for each other
2. Thyme for family
3. Thyme for friends

NOW for a couple of Jokes

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.

Doctor," the man said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a Little upset because my daughter has red hair.

She can't possibly be mine."

"Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors May have contributed red hair to the gene pool."

"It isn't possible," the man insisted. "This can't be, our families on both Sides had jet-black hair for generations."

"Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often u have sex?" The man seemed a bit ashamed.

"I've been working very hard for the past year.

We only made Love once or twice every few months."

Well, there you have it!"

The doctor said confidently. "It's rust."

The Blonde

You will be cut down to size.....even by a blonde!

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have.

"He tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.

"He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "What massive calves you have.

"The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.

"He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her.

He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies,

"I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was."


Little Johnny (fireman)
A man was walking on the sidewalk and noticed up ahead that Little Johnny was wearing a red fireman's hat and sitting in a red wagon.

It appeared that the wagon was being pulled slowly by a large Labrador Retriever. When he got closer to the lad, he noticed that Johnny had a rope tied around the dog's testicles, which probably accounted for why the dog was walking so gingerly.

Smiling, he spoke to the little boy, "That's really a nice fire engine you have there, son. But I'll bet the dog would pull you faster if you tied that rope around his neck."

"Yeah," Johnny replied, "but then I wouldn't have a siren."


Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
Free your heart from hatred

- Forgive.

Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

Live simply and appreciate what you have

.Give more.

Expect less



Blogger Merle said...

Dear Jan ~~ Love that garden piece and have posted it many moons ago.
Don't you wear yourself out with too many bowls, my friend. Sorry your power was off for so long the other day. We didn't lose it, but the weather station at the airport was hit by lightning. Fixed now, and I am enjoying the cooler weather for the next few days.
I am glad you are pleased with the award. I have spent half the day letting folks know about theirs.
Take care, Love, Merle.

February 07, 2008 7:32 pm  
Blogger Diane J. said...

Hi, Jeanette. Nice of you to visit and comment at my place. ;o)

It seems strange for you to talk about how hot it is there when it's in the 30'sF here right now. Chilly!

Have a great end to your week! ;o)



February 07, 2008 11:25 pm  
Blogger Margaret said...

Loved the garden and the jokes. What a siren OUCH!.
Cheers and hugs Margaret

February 08, 2008 12:53 am  
Blogger Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

Oh my... I have not heard that song in the longest, longest time... makes me want to head back to Australia... even if I just left there on the 27th Jan...

February 08, 2008 8:36 am  
Blogger UKBob said...

Hi Jeanette, It sounds like its a bit warmer there than here. Sorry you didn't manage to win the bowls but it sounds like you have fun which is the main thing. Best wishes, Bob.

February 08, 2008 9:22 am  
Blogger Allotment Lady said...

Lawn bowls ! My husband will be so jealous when I tell him He is still playing indoor bowls and will be for a few months yet! He is just about managing to get a few rounds of golf in - the land is that wet!

Love your jokes I don't know how you get so many - and I particularly like the last sentiment on being happy - so very true.

I can always visit you and expect a real laugh. Love it

February 08, 2008 7:58 pm  
Blogger ImperfectNerd said...

I'm so happy to have "happened" by! Your site is so cheerful and welcoming, and I love that. Come visit sometime and explore!

February 08, 2008 9:47 pm  
Blogger Gwen said...

Hi Mate.
Great jokes,but I think I liked the
garden planting best.
Brian is thinking he may take a train ride to Melb.
If he does it wil be Tuesday 12th
between 10am & 4pm so we might get
together and have dinner,your place or mine doesn't matter which
See you soon xx

February 08, 2008 10:33 pm  
Blogger Gattina said...

I have no green thumb at all and anyway it's still too early to plant anything here, lol ! But it is unusual warm here 13° in February !

February 09, 2008 12:45 am  
Blogger ImperfectNerd said...

Have a good weekend everyone...I have to go!

February 09, 2008 1:14 am  
Blogger RUTH said...

Hot and humid...I'm so envious. I'm excited because we've reached 12C today...we had a frost last night though. Still at least Spring is on its way.
Stay well

February 09, 2008 1:51 am  
Blogger Pamela said...

hmmm, must ask my hubby about the "sirens" down at the fire station (although he is retired)

Wonderful advice today - I need to hang those words on my bathroom mirror to read every morning

February 09, 2008 2:54 am  
Blogger UKBob said...

Hi Jeanette, About the fuchsias. I don't usually cut mine much at all during the summer. I do my main pruning now just before they start to grow. I think I've pruned most of them now but is there is one that I missed I will do a post on it on Monday to show you what I do. I don't see why you can't tidy them up now the only thing is that when you take out the tip of a shoot it takes it 4 to 6 weeks to flower as the flowers grow in new wood. Bob.

February 09, 2008 7:13 am  
Blogger Jim said...

Hi Jeanette -- When I first read this blog title and then looked at your weather report, I thought I would have to tell you it is too hot to be planting a garden.
I do love your garden advice. It is real clever.
Jokes were nice too, a couple were bordering on being cruel (redhead and boy with the dog and wagon). I guess the blonde was cruel also?

February 10, 2008 8:28 am  
Blogger rusty in miami said...

That was a very nice garden piece, something we all should live by.
Great jokes as always.

February 10, 2008 1:24 pm  
Blogger Gina E. said...

Gardening advice very clever!!!

February 10, 2008 10:42 pm  
Blogger Hootin' Anni said...

Now that kinda garden I can work on and perhaps succeed!! That's a good one. And the short fuse? LOVE that one.

February 11, 2008 3:48 am  

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