A FEW LAUGHS

Hi everyone

I have had a busy day been out shopping then to hairdresser.

it was such a beautifull day I didnt want to waste it inside

so spent the rest of the day in the garden ,

till it was time to get ready to go out for dinner with the Bowling club.

The menu: Smorgasboard Seaford.

A good night was had by all.

So tonight i decided to give the photo's a rest and post a few Jokes

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Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.

(Wait till you see the last one)

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DORMITORY:

When you rearrange the letters:

DIRTY ROOM

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*PRESBYTERIAN

When you rearrange the letters:

BEST IN PRAYER

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ASTRONOMER:

When you rearrange the letters:

MOON STARER

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DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:

A ROPE ENDS IT

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THE EYES

When you rearrange the letters:

THEY SEE

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**GEORGE BUSH

When you rearrange the letters:

*HE BUGS GORE

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**THE MORSE CODE**:

When you rearrange the letters:

HERE COME DOTS

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SLOT MACHINES:

When you rearrange the Letters:

CASH LOST IN ME

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**ANIMOSITY:**

When you rearrange the letters:

IS NO AMITY

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ELECTION RESULTS

When you rearrange the letters:

*LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

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**SNOOZE ALARMS:**

When you rearrange the letters:*

*ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

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A DECIMAL POINT:

When you rearrange the letters:

IM A DOT IN PLACE

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**THE EARTHQUAKES:**

When you rearrange the letters

THAT QUEER SHAKE

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ELEVEN PLUS TWO

When you rearrange the letters

TWELVE PLUS ONE

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AND FOR

THE GRAND FINALE

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**MOTHER-IN-LAW:**

When you rearrange the letters

*WOMAN HITLER*
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Never Argue with a Woman !!!!

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and

decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am.

What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her."

I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing.

I'm reading.""Yes, but you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could start at any moment.

I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman."

But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden."

That's true, but you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

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MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

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GOLF BALLS
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls".Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time,deeply thinking about what he had said.

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After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

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Italian Math

An Italian man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he

passes a little math test.

"Here's your first question," the foreman said, "Without using numbers,
represent the number 9."
Wit outa numbers?" The Italian says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds
to draw three trees.


"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine,"

says the Italian.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question.

Use the same
rules but this time the number is 99."

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture
that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.

"Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to
represent 99?"


"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and
dirty tree. Dat is 99."


The boss is getting worried that he's actually going to have to hire
this Italian, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again,
but represent the number 100."

The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture
again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says

"Ere you go. One hundred!"

The boss looks at the attempt.

"You must be nuts if you think that
represents a hundred!"
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v
(You're going to love this one!!!)
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The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each
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tree and says, "A little dog came along and crap by each tree. So now
vyou got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and
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a turd... dat makea one hundred. So, whena I start?"

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AND REMEMBER:GOOD FRIENDS ARE LIKE STARS. YOU DON'T ALWAYS SEE THEM, BUT YOU ALWAYS KNOW THEY ARE THERE!!!!!!