Blonde's

Hi everyone hope your all well were ever you maybe be. I am very well But its that time again for check ups .Yesterday I had to go Wangaratta hospital to have Mammogram,Ultra sound, Chest xray, and CT scan pelvis and Abdomen , But the worst thing was I had to fast from Midnight. No morning cuppa . Then after mammogam and chest xray I was given a litre of white liquid to drink on an empty stomach .Yuk! before they could start the scan and , during scan had to be injected with a dye. Oh boy im so hungry I could eat a horse,, My appointments started 11am and followed one after the other ending about 3pm. The first thing I did was head to the hospital cafeteria for a much needed cuppa and something to eat. Next Tuesday fast again for Blood test and Liver Ultra sound.All over for another 12 months..except for my 3monthly blood tests ..

Well all I can say all these tests are better than the alternative.....

NOW ON WITH A FEW JOKES

keep smiling

SEVEN DEGREE'S OF A BLONDE .

FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

FOURTH DEGREE

Ablonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"

SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

SEVENTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Now a couple of senior jokes

Grandma's Visit

"Oh, I sure am glad to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother (on his mother's side).

"Now Daddy will do the trick he's been promising us."

The grandmother was curious.

"What trick is that?" she asked.

"He told Mommy that he'd climb the walls if you came to visit," answered the boy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's Your Name, Again?

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.

Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.

Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week. One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.

I know we've been friends a long time, but I just can't think of your name.

I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.

Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pet Parrot

A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home.

But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson.

He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet.

The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."

The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."

The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"