Jen's Chronicles

Where have I been

2010-05-10T22:12:00.002+10:00

Gday everyone,

Why have I been so long away from blogging this time .. Well !! I've been kept busy bowling , doing a little gardening, (Photo's later) the normal household chores ... then to top it all off I lost my telephone and along with it went the internet. It took TELSTRA 8 days to get it up and running. So here I am, back and ready to share lifes little things again !!!

I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but Donna won the "Boystown Lottery" last Novemeber which was a house in Buderim QLD and a new Mercedes car. Donna and Brett and kids spent Christmas at the house and decided it wasn't a "holiday home" it was more suited to executive style living, so they put it on the market, and the house was sold and handover is mid May. Donna suggested that Carol, Joanne and myself head up North and spend a "bonding" weekend before handover . Well you didnt have to ask us all twice, Donna made the arrangements and off we went. We spent 4 days together, shopping, eating, drinking and a little sight seeing thrown in - it was just a wonderful time. You cant visit up North without putting a phone call through to Peter, and as expected he made the short journey down and spent Sunday with us all .. the angel amongst the devils .. or in his own words "he now knows what Hugh Heffner felt like - surrounded by beautiful women !!! such a card and character but we love him dearly. Peter decided to spend the night and help us pack up in the morning before heading back home. I took a few snaps .. surprise surprise, keep scrolling down, and enlarge if needed.

Thursday night we stayed at "The Mantra " in Tullamarine, close to airport just to make sure we didnt get caught in the early morning traffic and miss out book in. Having a night cap in the lounge at the hotel.

Friday morning , breakfast at Macca's at the airport before we fly out.

In the clouds
Arriving on the Sunshine Coast .. we left Melbourne wet and cold, arrived to a lovely sunny and warm day - first stop change of clothes!
Donna and Carol On the tarmac
L/R Donna, Carol and Joanne collecting our luggage.
Front entrance to the house
The House

Dinning & living area - The house was fully furnished, as you see it is how they received it. I fell in love the light fittings, so unusual, the pics dont do them justice.
I had to share this with you all, the tree is growing around a large volcanic rock - it gave the impression of a large bonsai. It also attracted bats of a night, spotlights were placed around the base lighting it up of a night to try and deter the little NOISY critters.Saturday we spent strolling along the beach at Mooloolaba, shopping along the esplanade, and having lunch on the wharf.
Joanne out on the rocks
Testing the water
Having lunch at "The Wharf " Mooloolaba
The area is all built on and amongst volcanic rocks, which makes for some lovely landscaping. The back garden at the house, very steep but perfect for native ferns and palms.
Upstairs looking down on the terrace - Peter having a chin wag with the girls.
All packed and ready to leave for home.
Peter "Hugh Heffner" Holtie and the girls
Leaving the Sunshine coast and heading home.
Leaving the Queensland shores

After a few drinks on board, the girls decided to have a quick nap

About 1 hr out from Tullamarine Melbourne Airport

Decending comming in to land at Tullermarine, Melbourne.

Colin and the kids were at the airport waiting to collect Joanne. Carol, Donna and myself headed home (Carol driving) 3 hrs to Yarrawonga - We arrived home approx 9.30pm Monday night.

Carol stayed with me ONCE again, mothers day being the following Sunday. Ian and Serayha come up Saturday, we all then went to Donnas on Sunday to celebrate my milestone Mothers Day .. yes it was my 50th one (shhhh dont tell Carol I let the cat out the bag) - we had a lovely lamb roast followd by hot apple pie and ice-cream. The only thing I have to do now is DIET DIET DIET, I need to drop all those extra kg's - but what fun it was putting it on.

Until next time my friends, stay safe and well. Jeanette

A little senior merriment

2010-04-09T23:05:00.002+10:00

Gday all,
I hope you are all had a very happy Easter long weekend as I did . Gary, Christine / Joanne , Colin and their families along with friends Marc,Kristy and Baby Aiden arrived Thursday evening. Then surprise Carol and Ian arrived Saturday making it 17 in all. A happy fun time with lots of laughter was had by all. with perfect weather plenty of sunshine , a few drinks and the swimming pool getting plenty of use ..All stayed on till Monday/ Tuesday.
A happy fun time filled with lots of laughter was had by all..

Now on with a few jokes to put a little laughter into our lives .

Couple in their nineties

are both having problems remembering things.

During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ...

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.

'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure..'

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks

'No, I can remember it.

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too.

Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream.

I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!

Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes,

The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast ?'

**********

Hospital regulations

require a wheel chair for patients being discharged.

However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.. 'I don't know,' he said.

'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.
'

************

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age.

How do you feel?'

Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really!?

Like a newborn baby!?

' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

****************

An elderly gentleman......

Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.

Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'

The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations.

I've changed my will three times!'

*****************

Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.

His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?'

The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question..

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up... He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door..' He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'

She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't.

All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires..

************

If you are a senior you will understand this one, if you deal
with seniors this should help you understand them a little
better, and if you are not a senior yet........God willing,
someday you will be......The £2.99 Special
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was
two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for £2.99.

'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.' 'Then, I'll have to charge you three pounds and forty-nine pence because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her. 'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked
incredulously. 'YES!!' stated the waitress. 'I'll take the special then,' my wife said. 'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked. 'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.

DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!! WE'VE been around the block more than once!

*********
LADY'S YEARLY EXAM

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

The nurse started with certain basics."How much do you weigh?

she asked."135," I said.

The nurse put me on the scale

It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asked, "Your height?""5 foot 4," I said.

The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5' 2"

She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high.

"Of course it's high" I screamed,

'When I came in here Iwas tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!

"She put me on Prozac.

What a bitch
*******

Out and about

2010-04-01T19:10:00.007+11:00

Gday all. Im back once again.

Ive have been a very busy lady, Carol came over for a few days to go with Lady bowlers to see "Cats" and ended up staying nearly 3 weeks as I had a couple of medical appointments,blood tests , Ultrasound .its that time of year when all my tests start again . No results yet.

Apart from Photo's below showing some of our activities over the last few weeks.

we went to woolen mills in Wangaratta were we made a few purchases. after Ultra sound and again made return visits to mill for more wool..also had Grandfinal pennant Dinner played carpet and lawn bowls..had a trip to Shepparton called in to see Merle . Now im slowing up as my back is playing up and giving me some discomfort.

Well folks We wish you all a very HAPPY EASTER .

I have family arriving any time now. so will be off . I promise to visit you all after family go home after Easter Break..

Take care till I return .

On wth the photo's. Please enlarge any or all for better viewing....

Indoor Carpet bowls enjoying A social get together BBQ on the Club lawns over looking Lake Mulwala

walking back to car after BBQ

end of evening undermoonlight

Arriving to watch and support our club Lawn bowls pennant team
in Grandfinal
My Club in Green

Our girls did us proud and a good game to watch, the game hinged on the last

end played . we went down 70 to 71 ..

Coach load of Lady Bowlers off to the Regent theatre Melbourne to see Live Musical "CATS"

A much needed refreshment break to stretch the legs and have a cuppa Well worth setting alarm 5.30am. it was along day getting back to Yarrawonga about 9.30pm.
Pauline,Carol, Donna enjoying a much needed cuppa

Leaving Cats to find our bus

Brian and Myself

It was my Dear friend Gwens 1st Anniversary of her death

So Brian Gwens Hubby , Paula and myself went down to the lake as arranged to let balloons go at the same time as her family did in different parts of Melbourne.

Balloons like dots in the sky they soon dissappeared out of sight

Donna and girls picking Carol and myself up heading to Gold class theatre Albury to see Alice in Wonderland

L/R.Carol , Rylie,Donna, Maddison and Sanae. ready to order our meal before we go into theatre, were our lunch is served

Myself and Donna feeling quite relaxed in our recliners after the movie , lunch, a couple of drinks and to end with a shared cheese platter.

Maddison enjoying popcorn

After theatre was off for a little retail therepy

In the shopping Mall

The girls happy with their purchases.Rylie, Sanae,heartshape earmuffs to keep the noise out at Karting and Maddison a Beret

heading back to the car after a great girls day out

To end with Penny fast asleep on her lambswool mat

after spending the day with friends.

My Bromiliads new home

2010-02-27T15:38:00.006+11:00

Gday everyone. Not a lot to report . Ive bowled a couple times this week . last Tuesday few of our bowlers including me travelled by bus with our A1 pennant team to Corowa to watch and support them in the pennant semi final. Yay!!!! they won now into grandfinal to be played next Tuesday so 7.30am bus back to Corowa. ill take Camera try to take a few photo's for another post..

Now on with a few photo's

I started this project before my eye operation ,as you all know I had to becareful and wasn't allowed out in garden. Yippee the weathers been nice and ive been able to get back in the garden and get my hands dirty .

Please click on an any or all to enlarge for a better Look

Bromiliads old home

Start of new project. After watching a Tv garden show I decide to try my luck at putting some of my bromiliads on a steel mesh and hessian frame.
You see in the wire in background I originally had it put up to grow Sweetpeas but changed my mind and now use it to hang a few Bromiliads on boards or in small pots.

Must say I was very pleased with the end results. Then one job led to another, extentsion to exsisting fernery and new shade cloth the whole length of fernery and fence painted .

Started to move bromiliads in then decided on shade cloth to protect them from winter frost

Bromiliads moved out while shade cloth was put in place. you say why move , well he wasnt the most gentle person in the garden with a few plants getting knocked about and broken in the process of replacing other shade cloth and a few repairs along the way.

Above and below a few close ups

This one seemed to come into flower overnight the next two are close up of same plant a few days apart.

another close up

Complete but still might move some about in here

move complete It looks so bare now

Next job to clean up and move a few of my other plants here.

Cheerio for now im off to watch the winter Olympics live on television.

And slowly making my way around to visiting you all...

Walking the dog

2010-02-16T22:55:00.012+11:00

Gday Everyone,

I hope your all well where ever you maybe.

Im very well and pleased to report had my last visit to optometrist my eyes have improved greatly and no need for a return visit Yippeee!!!!

Im back playing indoor carpetbowls Monday evenings and Thursday afternoon, outdoor lawn bowls Tuesday and Wednesdays . Thats about all except the normal home duties and pottering around the garden when its not to hot ..

Now heres a couple of jokes to share with you all..

WALKING THE DOG

A WOMAN was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane .
Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney along the way.
The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board In 50 minutes.
Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was Blind.
A man had noticed her as he walked by and Could tell the lady was blind because her GuideDog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.
He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by Name, said, 'Kathy, we are in Sydney for almost an hour, would you like to get off and stretch your legs?'
The blind lady replied, 'No thanks, but maybe Buddy would Like to stretch his legs.'
Picture this:
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill,when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Guide dog!

The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.
People scattered.

They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!
True story... Have a great day and remember...

....THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.

**************
Jack Daniels

Finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a viper snake with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth; I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

His eyes rolled back and he went limp.

I released him into the lake without incident and carried on my fishing with the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot.
There was that same damn snake sitting with two frogs in his mouth.

**********

Why I fired my Secretary.

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.' I thought..
Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids...
They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday !
' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.
Let's go !' We went to lunch.
But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?' I responded, 'I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?' She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.
'After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I'll be right back.
' 'Ok.' I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.
And I just sat there..

. On the couch...

Naked.

~~~~~~~~`

Teaching English to the natives

A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission
in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he
realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.
So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and
says to the chief, 'This is a tree.'
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, 'Tree.'
The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he
points to a rock and says, 'This is a rock.'
Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, 'Rock.'

The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears
a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of
natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, 'Man riding a bike.'

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them.

The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years
teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how
could he kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, 'My bike.'

Enjoy your day and remember to keep off the roads

when riding someone elses bicycle!
***************

A DAY WITHOUT LAUGHTER IS A DAY WASTED!!!

Carol's Aussie Birthday bash

2010-01-28T23:08:00.005+11:00

Gday all , Ive been in the land of missing once again.

WOW what a long weekend ive had, all the family arrived friday evening and stayed on till Tuesday as you will see by the pictures below it was Carol's (Cazz) birthday Saturday 23rd held at Brett and Donna's and being Australia day 26th long weekend Carol ask everyone to come dressed casual in Aussie theme.

Then Sunday it was all back to my home for for a BBQ lunch and a few more drinks these Pictures will make another blog.. A Great fun filled weekend was had by all.
Please click to enlarge any or all the pics,

The birthday Cake A typical Aussie Pavalova covered in cream and chocolate mint crisp ohhh so yummy what else do you have with Australiaday party theme.
The table laden with Aussie fare, Party pies, sausage rolls still in the oven .

Carol and Hubby Ian It also happened to be there 10th wedding anniversary

Carol. Joanne(standing)Christine (Gary's wife)Kristy (Marc's wife) and Donna

All dressed in our Aussie gear about to leave for the party

Joanne ,Colin with their 3, Timothy 10 Kara 8 Liam 6
Marc having a drink before we leave

HEHEHE Carol and Myself showing of our Tatts..

Carol with her Son Michael and Daughter Serayha

My 4 all together. Gary, birthday girl Carol, Joanne and Donna

Singing happy birthday Carol having a bit of fun

Carol getting the 1st slice of Pav.
Gary and Terry ( Nephew) having a drink and a chinwag
all lined up to start 3leggered race
Guess who won the three legged race
Carol had to have first hit at the Pinata with kids lined up for there turn all kids recieved a bag of sweets once it was broken, Duck Marc Carol nearly gottcha .
Maddison Getting into the action

Marc steading the post incase it fell when hit

Kara's concentrating on her aim

Kids trying to catch the Donut in their mouth without using their hands under the Aussie flag

Think the kids were having fun playing musical chairs. To finish of the day Brett cooking an Aussie BBQ. Snags (Sausages) smothered in tomato sauce in bread and butter Time to say Goodnight.

A wonderfull fun filled day night weekend was had by all.

Yarrawonga Christmas /New Year

2010-01-16T18:11:00.004+11:00

G'day everyone ,

To start with I would like wish you all a Happy & Safe Newyear 2010.

My house is now empty till next weekend. (thats another post) It has been overflowing with family and friends, 22 in all.
My home resembled a camping ground with a Caravan, a family size tent and a few cars taking up most of the backyard. I had a lovely Christmas / New Year being spoilt and waited on,the Girls doing the shopping and preparing all meals , drinks served, every time I had an empty glass it was refilled very quickly.

But thats not all. Gary (Son) and Alan his (B.I.L) gave my fernery a garden makeover cutting my plants back and completely redoing the pond with Gary adding water features and flood lights, Not forgetting Marc and Colin for there help and also taking all the rubbish to the tip..

A Big thank to one and all 'xxxxxxxxx.

First to arrive setting up tent near caravan

Marc taking his baby son Aiden 12 weeks for his first dip in the pool
Marc and Gary in the water proud mum Kristy taking a photo

It must be hot im in the water with Kara and liam

Before

clearing everything out to start fresh

all complete clean up time.

Gary Needed the shovel to lean on Oh boy! did his back suffer
all clean you can see the fish thats a water lily in the pot
and will hide the hoses and pump when it grows

all cut back

All lit up . Penny inspecting Gary's good work
Doesnt it look good the photo doesnt do it justice.
Gary having a well deserved rest before a swim

After a swim time for few drinks

L/r Ian, Alan,Chris,Cazz, Donna,( Chris sister) and Joanne

Liam listening to music on his Ipod

Kara

Emma 5 months playing with "sophie lee"

Joanne with her Step grandaughter Emma. Ohhh!!! It made me feel old with my Daughter getting called Nanny

Grandkids having fun it was so hot all were trying to stay in the shade of the umbrella's

Kara Rylie with her Puppy "Sophie Lee" 8weeks old Toy Poodle

Cocky trying to get a drink out the A/c
newyears eve

Of cause I couldnt leave the dogs out Christine's Molly (Black) and joanne's dog Jack

~~~~~~~~~~

My Wish for You in 2010
May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts.
May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills.
May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!
May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy.
May the problems you had forget your home address!
In simple words ............May 2010 be the best year of your life!!!

I promise to get around to visiting u all in the next few days .

CHEERS \_/ \_/ \_/

Christmas

2009-12-21T23:20:00.002+11:00

Gday Everyone.
I hope all is well where ever you may be , and your'e all well underway with your Christmas preparations. I am very well , my eyes are improving everyday I have been able to get tested for new glasses now just waiting for a phone call to say their ready so i can pick them up Hopefully just after Christmas .

This will be my last post for a little while as I will be going over to Carol's spending Christmas Eve /Day with her and her family. .Then returning home as from the 26th Gary,Joanne and their families and friends will be visiting and staying with me over the Christmas /New Year holidays. So a lot of fun and lots of laughter will be had by all, along the way I promise to take a lot of photo's and Blog them on my return.

I would like to wish you all
A Very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Now to end with a few jokes .

First Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Pete r at the pearly gates.
'In honour of this holy season' Saint Pete r said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.
' The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gate' Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.
He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Pete r looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'
The man replied, 'These are Carols.'
And So The Christmas Season Begins.. />

~~~~~~~~~~

The lost Bagpiper

As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends.
The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost and being a typical man, did not stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late.
I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight.
I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place.
I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do.
The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch.
I played out my heart and soul.
As I played the workers began to weep.
I played and I played as if I'd never played before, from Going Home and
The Lord is My Shepherd to Flowers of the Forest.
I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car
. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, Sweet Jeezuz, Mary 'n Joseph, I have never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.

~~~~~~~~~~

Lubricant

Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.
He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.
She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,!
'Ain't dat grand, !!' Murphy got excited by this,
but just then the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on! We ain't finished yet, !'The doctor then delivered a little girl.
He said, 'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too....'Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we aint got done yet, !'
The doctor then delivered another boy and said, 'Murph, you just had yourself another boy, !'
Murphy said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?'
The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.'
Murphy said, 'Ah yeah, during conception.'
When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said,
'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'
She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'Murph said, 'I'll tell you, ....it's a Bloody good ting we didn't use WD-40.

~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny

A woman answered her front door and found Little Johnny holding a list."Lady," Johnny explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar.""Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?""My babysitter's boyfriend."

~~~~~~~~~

A smile is a sign of joy.
A hug is a sign of love.
A laugh is a sign of happiness.

Jen's back

2009-12-13T15:01:00.006+11:00

G'day to all my friends in blogland and hope your all well wherever you maybe.
I'm very happy to say I'm back. On my last visit to my eye specialist I got a good report, the fluid in my retinas has cleared up, I still have to use drops for another 2 weeks and he (Dr. Nic)has given me the ok to go ahead and get tested for new glasses, hopefully I will only need them for reading and close work - Yippeeeee !!!! . A big thank you to Carol for looking after me and being my driver for many weeks taking me to all my appointments and taking me wherever I wanted to go.

Now on with a few photo's of Peter and Merle's luncheon visit where we all had a lovely day chatting, catching up and filled with lots of laughter. A lovely day was had by all.

Please click on all photo's to enlarge

Peter, Carol, Myself and Merle (Pauline taking photo!)

Getting ready to tucker down, Peter cracking the wine open - Carol cooked a lovely lunch, pumpkin soup, garlic bread, quiche (Egg and Bacon pie for the blokes), chicken and salad, followed by a lovely ginger fluff cake. Was so YUMMMM thanks again Cazz another job well done.

Peter trying to determine Cazz's bra size - or was he just going for a grope!

Merle never arrives empty handed, she bought me a lovely hanging basket

I managed to turn Cazz into a tea totalling, knitting old granny (her words), here she is putting together the knitted squares for her first "Nanna Blankie!" (12 x 14)

Penny always ready to lend a paw.

I knitted the squares, but Cazz had to sew them together for me as I was unable to see to do the fine work. This blanket was requested by Serayha (Cazzs' daughter) - she wanted a mosh posh of colours, bright and cheerful - think I managed to do that ! (16 x 16) 256 squares

Up the stairs to visit the Eye Specialist (Dr. Nic)

Leaving here (Dr Nic's) for the last time

As I'm still finding reading a little difficult, I will slowly get around to your blogs with magnifing glass in hand until my new glasses arrive - I promise ! Thanks for all your well wishes they all mean so much xxxxooooxxxx

Reporting In !!!!

2009-11-14T15:31:00.009+11:00

G'day everyone, sorry about the lack of posts, but we have had a very busy time here. So much to be done, so many places to visit - doctors, specialists, catching up with old friends and visits from family members and in the middle of it all we had used up all Mum's broadband useage for the month .. oooopppps .. let me tell you "Not a happy Jan".. LMAO ... soooooo ... let me fill you all in on the going ons.

* Mum has had a slight setback in both eyes, she now has fluid in the retina, its a very rare occurance, I think the specialist said 1 / 10,000 .. naturally my mother is one of them ! There is nothing that can be done except MORE drops and time. We went back to specialist on Wednesday and I'm happy to report a slight improvement (reduction in fluid) but Mums sight has deteriated slightly. We have our fingers crossed that it will improve again once the fluid has dispersed.

* Aunty Pauline had her 6mth check up at her oncologist, and we are happy to report all is well and she doesnt have to go back for another 12mths. BIGGGG sigh of relief.

* Mums friend and neighbour Marge suffered a heart attack, and ambulanced down to Melbourne. We are happy to report she is now back home with a pacemaker and doing extremely well. I'm affectionately known as "meals in slippers" as I cook and take there evening meal into them .. I'm just lucky they are not fussy eaters !

Well thats enough about the nursing reports ... think I'm just about qualified now - could be an optimologist with all the new learnings !

* I would like to thank Merle for her phone calls and chats with mum, your a very special lady - THANK YOU xxooxx

Ones chores dont end just with nursing .. ohhh nooooo .. along with cook, cleaner, go getter, my side line is dog groomer and walker ... and what a job that is. My hubby Ian come up for the week end and brought along my babies for a little TLC.

Here I am grooming Penny, with my babies Zoey, Milly and Bonnie eagerly awaiting their turn.

All looking pretty and fluffed up, off for a walk down to the river.

All a bit to much for Penny... here she is catching a few ZZZZZZZ's

Joanne, Colin and tribe along with Tanya, Rod and there tribe arrived last weekend for a catch up visit and the first seasonal dip in the pool .. and what a hot one it was 38 - 40 deg C.

Heres Jack, Jo & Cols baby - sire to Milly & Bonnie .. we affectionately refer to him as "Sir Humpalot" !
I have been here at mums for over a month now, and will be heading home later next week if all goes well to catch up with my chores at home .. grrrrr .. then I shall be returning early next month to do the rounds of the doctors and specialists again. Lady Jen has had her orders to abstain from the computer and gardening, but I know I'm wasting my breath, but at least I've tried !!!

Stay safe, be happy until next time we chat !!!

PS: Lady Jen will be around to visit you all shortly ... in small bursts I hope !!!!

Duty Calls !

2009-10-19T14:59:00.001+11:00

Hi everyone out there in the blogging community, this is Nurse Carol signing in to keep you all updated on the whereabouts of your missing blogger mate, and my patient, "Lady Jen".

I arrived Tuesday afternoon (13.10.09) summoned by Lady Jen, as she had organised a surprise treat. I left the hubby at home, jumped in my car and drove the hour over, all excited, wondering what was my "treat and surprise", the imagination can conjure up all sorts of things over a space of an hour.
Upon my arrival, Aunty Pauline was here, and they both had big grins on their faces, they had booked me in with them to travel to Melbourne with the Lady Bowlers to see the stage show performance of "The Jersey Boys". We left Yarrawonga by tour bus Wednesday morning at 6.45am , which to me is the middle of the night, and we didn't get back home until 9pm, it was a long day but well worth it. If you get a chance to catch the show, do so, its bloody brilliant!

Thursday morning its up again and out the house by 7.30am, to travel to Wangaratta for mum to have her right eye done (cataract surgery), so its back to drops every four hours, blurred eyesight, and alot of bossing around !!! and I must say she is not being as co-operative as the first time round, I'm finding it REALLLLYYYY hard keeping her off of her computer and out of the garden.

Keeping mum out of her garden is like keeping the pope out of a church, I turn my back for a few minutes only to find her pulling a weed or two, mum blames it on this beautiful spring weather we are having, she says "it just inspires you to get out of the house and in amongst the dirt and weeds and start prettying things up" .

.... well I'm not much of a gardener, to tell you the truth, the green thumb jumped me altogether, I kill off more than I manage to nurture. I also suffer badly with "hayfever", hence I dont find gardening relaxing at all, its a darn chore that I'd rather pass on to someone else to do .... anywayyyyyyyy .... being the GOOD daughter that I am, I dose myself up with anti-histamine, gear up - gloves, rakes, shovels and other unknown implements, that mum assures me that I will need, and I hit the garden. Mum grabs her camera, as this is a very monumentos occassion, and worthy of taking a few snaps!

Removing the dead "bits" from the pots

Getting in amongst it all

Penny wanting to play ball, not garden .. she won !!!!

Wellllll, after fighting off spiders, lizards and other creepy crawlies, I call it quits.

Its time to clean up and head inside to start my next lot of chores, making a cuppa and cooking her Ladyships dinner. I must say I didnt realise how many darn "cuppas" my mother drank until I had to start making them all !

Until next time, have fun, stay safe and think of me sitting here scratching, sneezing and cursing her bloody garden.

Nurse Cazz

xxooxx

PS: Mum insists that I finish off with a few jokes, so keep on reading and have a laugh.

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing.

Cabbie: "You're just like Frank"
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more ... He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything.

Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out.

But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.

But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.

He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.

He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake.

No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died ... I'm married to his f***ing widow." And she Knows Everything,,,

~~~~~~~~~

To end with Little Johnny!!! .

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.

He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy them.
Johnny, looking all worried, said, 'Dad, I think the Telstra guy wants to buy Mum.'

~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local Police Station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman.
'The detectives want very badly to capture him.' Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?'

~~~~~~

A mother took five-year-old Johnny with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime.
They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager.
After waiting patiently for a few minutes, the little Johnny said loudly, "Wow, she's fat! The
mother bent down and whispered in the little Johnny's ear to be quiet.

A couple more minutes passed by and little Johnny stretched his arms out as far as they would go and announced; "I'll bet her bum is this wide!" The fat woman turned around and glared at the little Johnny.

The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet. After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the queue.

Just then her pager begin to emit a "beep, beep, beep". Then little Johnny yelled out, "Everybody run for your life, she's reversing!!"

~~~~~~~~~

What Do You Do All Day?

2009-10-04T12:25:00.031+11:00

Hi Everyone. I Hope alls well with everyone, Im very well .And not a lot to report I'm back bowling and after missing so many Comp's and social days due to Appointments and my eyes. I was very pleased to be picked in the pennant team to say the least, We played Swanpool last Tuesday, 1st game of the pennant season, our team won by 3 shots but lost overall as the other 2 teams lost.Lets hope next tuesday we all have a win.

Now time to find a few jokes.

What Do You Do All Day?

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still
in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and
wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the
house and there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.

He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soapand more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, '

What happened here today?'

She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me sarcastically what in the world I do all day?'

'Yes,' was his incredulous reply. She answered,

'Well, today, I didn't do it.'???

~~~~~~~~

CAKE OR BED

A husband is at home watching a football match when hi wife interupts ,

Honey ! could you fix the light in the ? its been flickering for weeks now..

He looks at her and says angrily .

fix the light now?

Does it look like I have energex written on my forehead ? I don't think so.

Fine ,the the wife asks well then, could you fix the the fridge door? it wont close To which he replied .

Fix the fridge door?

does it look like I have westinghouse written on my forehead ? I dont think so Fine,

She then says you could at least fix the steps to the front door ?they are about to break Im not a carpenter and I dont wont to fix to fix the steps he says, Does it look like I have Bunnings written on mt forehead? I dont think so .

I've had enough of you, . I'm going to the pub!!!!

So off to the pub he goes and drinks for a couple of hours..

He starts to feel Guilty about how he treated his wife ,and decides to go home. As he walks into the house he notices that the steps have been fixed .

As he enters the house he sees the hall light is working, as he goes for a beer he notices the fridge door has been fixed. HONEY, He asks , " How did all this get fixed?

She said , Well, when you left I sat outside and cried just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong ,and I told him . He offered to do all the repairs ,and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake. He said so what kind of cake did you bake? .. She replied . Helllllllooooooo!!!!!!!,

DO YOU SEE SARA LEE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?

I DON'T THINK SO!

~~~~~~~~

My Very FIRST TIME!!!

It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget.

I'd do it again
Without a single regret.

The sky was dark,

The moon was high,
We were all alone,

Just she and I.

Her hair was soft,
Her eyes were blue,

I knew just what
She wanted to do.

Her skin so soft,
Her legs so fine,

I ran my fingers
Down her spine.

I didn't know how,
But I tried my best.

I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear,.

My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.

And when I did it
I felt no shame...

All of a sudden,
the white stuff came!

At last it's finished,
It's all over now.

My first time ever
At milking a cow.

GOTCHA

Now, what were you thinking??!!

Time for a little laughter

2009-09-26T22:21:00.005+10:00

Hello everyone. I hope you are all keeping well and the weathers being kind to you in your part of the world.

I wish to thank you all for your concern and good wishes on my recent eye operations,,

. Carol has now gone home and will return again 13th October for a bus trip on the 14th (thats another blog ) and my cataract on 15th.

My eyes are going well but still cant read small print, so will be very pleased to get my right cataract done , so I can at least get new glasses for the computer and reading I cant use my old glasses they are useless 'trifocal 'everything is very blurry.

Im starting to slowly make my way around to visiting you all a few at time , Take care till I return ..

~~~~~~~~~

Now on with a few jokes to keep you smiling..

Marriage in Heaven

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in heaven. St. Peter said, "I don't know.

This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons.

If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? "What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?"

Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.
"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!!!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer???"

~~~~~~~~~

The Chicken Farmer

A chicken farmer stopped in a local bar and sat next to a woman.

Then, he ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perked up and said, "How about that?I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!""What a coincidence" the farmer said.

"This is a special day for me.

I am celebrating."

"This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," said the woman.

"What a coincidence!" said the farmer.

As they clinked glasses he added, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that at last I am pregnant!""What a coincidence!" said the man.

"I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.

That's great!" said the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?''

"I used a different cock," he replied.

The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said,

"What a coincidence!"..

~~~~~~~~

Psychiatrists vs. Bartender

Ever since I was a child, Ive always had a fear of someone under the bed at night.

SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM

'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it.

I'm scared.

I think I'm going crazy.

''Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink.

'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid ofthose fears.

.''How much do you charge?'

'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied thedoctor.

'I'll sleep on it,' I said.

Six months later the doctor met me on the street.

'Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.

'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money!,

A bartender cured me for $10.

I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!''Is that so!'

With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask,did a bartender cure you?

''He told me to cut the legs off the bed! -

Ain't nobody under there now!!!'

SCREW THOSE SHRINKS.. GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BARTENDER!

Eye Surgery No.2

2009-09-11T18:04:00.010+10:00

Hi everyone, NURSE CAROL here .. I would just like to fill you all in on mums progress. As you can see by the picture below, she wasnt a good girl so I had to blacken her eye to pull her back into line ..LMAO .. well truthfully, she has had another procedure, and has had a growth removed from under her right eye, besides sporting a few stitches, bruising and mild soreness she is doing well. She got a gold star for her left eyes progress, which I will take a little of the credit for. Mum is booked in for her right eye cataract surgery middle of October. She is unable to sit at the computer and read as she cant wear her glasses, and things are all still a little blurred. As her sight improves she will get around to visiting you all. Believe me when I say, its been a hard task keeping her off of her computer. Under her direction, here are a few jokes to keep you all going. Stay safe and well until I report in, or mum sneaks on !!!!

Now on with a few jokes.

~~~~~~~~
WHEN NOTHING GOES RIGHT

A short guy is sitting at a bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, 'What'cha gonna do about it?

" The poor little guy starts crying..

"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," the biker says. "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs.
"I can't do anything right.

I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me..

When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance.

I left my wallet in the cab I took home." He continues, crying even harder.

"Then I found my wife in bed with the gardener and my dog bit me So, I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison."

~~~~~~~

Oh To Be 12 Again..

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.'I'd like to be twelve again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Alton Towers theme park.What a day!He put her on every ride in the park;

the Death Slide,

the Corkscrew

,the Wall of Fear,

the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster,

everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.

Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down

.He then took her to a Mc Donald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to the cinema with popcorn, a huge Cola, and her favourite sweets...........M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked,

'Well Dear,what was it like being twelve again?

'Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!

'The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

~~~~~~~

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.

' The driver says, Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.

As the officer writes out the Ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,

'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'

The wife smiles demurely and says,

'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did..' As the officer makes out the second Ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notic e that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.

That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.

' The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on.

You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third Ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??

' The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

I love this part.....
'Only when he's been drinking.

You guessed it another Ticket

"Dont drink and drive".

Eye Surgery

2009-09-01T20:06:00.012+10:00

Hello everyone, Well as you can see I have been out of action for the last few days, after having cataract surgery at Wangaratta hospital. Carol has been staying with me since my birthday, looking after me & making sure I dont do anything I'm not meant to be doing . I left hospital with my eye taped shut and and had to leave this shield on till I saw my specialist the next morning when it was removed, I could read most of the chart on the wall , and only had to wear the shield for 3 nights and have to use drops 4 times a day for 3 weeks. Next Tuesday I have to go back and have a small cyst like lesion removed from under my right eye and healed before the Dr will do my right cataract, then hopefully I will only need glasses for reading.

OHHHH dear .. Carol just drove in from going down the shops .. YES I'm in a bit of trouble, just got caught out ... not meant to be on the computer and its time for my drops.

Just a couple of jokes tonight, Ill be around to visit you all as soon as I'm able.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Farmer

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into awell. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.

They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.

He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.

The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping,never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

NOW ............ Enough of that crap . . The donkey later came back,
and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and
the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, try to cover your ass

,as it always comes back to bite you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men
along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to
stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the
lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over
there,under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, too."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also ha ve
a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as
large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,
"Sir, you are too kind Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place.
The grass is almost a foot high."

~~~~~~~~

Wisdom of Older Women
After being marriedfor 42 years I took a carefull look at my wife one day and said."Honey, 42 years ago we had a cheap apartment A cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white television,, But i got to sleep every night with A hot 19year old girl.

NOW I HAVE A $500,000 HOME, A $45,000 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, But im sleeping with a 61year old women.

"It seems to me that your not holding up your side of things."

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN.

She told me to go out and find a hot 19year old girl. , And she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment,driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10 inch black and white television ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.
AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT?

THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

My 70th Birthday Bash

2009-08-25T23:58:00.003+10:00

This was atop my cake, was Gold colour but didnt scan true to colour.
To start my 70th birthday journey Friday 21August and ending Sunday 23rd , firstly Donna picked me up then we headed to Shepparton were we met up with Carol and we hit the shops for some retail therapy and had lots of fun.HEHEHE girls didnt see camera in my bag till i was well dressed, (See photo's)before heading to Friars,where Carol's hubby Ian , Kayne, his g/f Emma and a friend of theirs joined as for a lovely long lunch before heading home.for a couple hours rest before Gary, Chris and family arrived followed by Joanne, Colin and family for the weekend.

Thank you to my beautiful family for making this weekend so special with lots of love fun and happiness shown and had by all..

Donna and carol trying on some outfits

Donna trying on a pair of Harem pants.

Love the socks girls match the outfits well. LOL

Carol in a brown tiered dress

Lunch at Friars an old converted church,It was to dark to take photo's inside
Jen, Grandson Kayne, his GF Emma and Isla a Norway exchange student

Birthday Cake, yum yum.

With all of my beautiful grown up children .

L-R: Joanne,Donna. Myself, Carol & Gary.

My beautiful grandchildren

My niece Leanne and Donna
My happy family enjoying the evening. What a beautiful action photo

Eldest Grandson Michael with Mum, Carol
The youngest grandchild. Liam Enjoying a piece of birthday cake

Dear friends

Michael and Nan
Tucking into the lovely grub

Gary leading the happy birthday chorus
My sister Pauline had something to say

Taking the first piece of cake
and to end this blog with the Yummy first taste.

A good weekend was had by all

Back in the flow

2009-08-19T23:07:00.001+10:00

Gday everyone,I hope alls well were ever you maybe. I have had a busy few days. thursday Played Social Indoor carpet bowls then in the evening We the club had a social evening had dinner , Friday my sister and I went to exercise class, played again Sunday in our Gala day event were teams come from all over as far away as Moama and Echuca, Albury and Wodonga,Benalla, Howlong, Tocumwal, Corowa. as well as our local teams.

Tuesday Went too Drs he was happy gave me good report put me on 6monthly visit .

Today Wednesday just got home from a schnitzel night put on by my club. I had a Aussie Chicken schnitzel topped with chopped Tomato's, bacon. cheese. and egg on top served with fresh salad, coleslaw and chips ohh was so yummy.

Tomorrow off to get my hair cut , and family comming for the weekend. well thats enoigh for now im off for an early night .

Now on with a few more Photo's Please enlarge any or all for a better look.

I took this cutting out of our daily newspaper

.Please enlarge to be able to read
Fishermen trying to catch a Murray cod they had a few small fish in the net the Lake not far from full see the water marks
Not a Ripple on the water on this very still day
The Lake is full again
Walking towards the Yarrawonga weir
A closer View with only one gate operating today
Looking in other direction down the Murray River

and Again

A walk amongst the Gum trees

A closer look at a couple of the trees

Looking back through the trees towards the Weir
Another lovely old Tree at edge of car park.

TO end with a lovely winter sunset.

Chucky

2009-08-10T23:26:00.005+10:00

Gday Everyone. Not much happening here, Brett, Donna ,Rylie and Maddison picked me up Sunday after inviting me to go to the Cinema with them Too see "MY SISTERS KEEPER" . The ticket attendant had a box of tissues and he offered the box to take a couple as you entered the theatre. A Real Tear Jerker . all Im saying is its a good movie incase some of you out there go to see it or hire it..Im back bowling Indoor carpet bowls, Lawn bowls starts again end of August, oh I hope the weather starts to warm up by then so wont be to cold outside bowling,. All I have done in the garden is prune the roses, will be out in the garden as soon as as the sun gets some warmth in it . the garden needs a little TLC with my plants needing a trim soon as they show a few new shoots and spring into life.
Well everyone on with a little laughter and we can all do with that in our lives.

Don't Poke Him In Church!

A couple was sitting in church.

The man was sleeping and his wife was knitting.

The priest asked: "Who created the Earth and man?"

The woman poked the man with her knitting needle, and the man screamed, "GOD

"The Priest looked at him and said, "That's right.

" Then he asked "Who is God's son?

"Once more the woman poked her husband with the needle, he woke up and screamed, "Jesus Christ!"

Again, the priest said, "Correct."

Finally, the priest asked, "What did Eve say to Adam when she didn't want any more children?The knitter poked her husband again,but this time he got up and screamed:

"Poke me with that thing one more time and I'm going to rip it off!"

~~~~~~~~

POOF and the light goes off!
An 60-year-old man goes for a physical.

All of his tests come back with normal results.

The doctor says,'Bert, everything looks great.

How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?'Bert replies, 'God and I are tight.

He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it for when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom,*poof*!, the light goes on.

When I'm done, *poof*!!, the light goes off.'

'Wow, that's incredible,' the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Bert's wife.'Joan,' he says, "'Bert is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God.

Is it true that he gets upduring the night and *poof *!!, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, *poof*!! the light goes off?'"

'OH MY GAWD!' Joan exclaims. 'He's peeing in the fridge again!!!!'.

~~~~~~~~~~

AN old farmer went to town to see a movie .

the ticket agent asked . "Sir whats on your shoulder ?"

The old farmer said, Thats my pet Rooster Chucky . Wherever I go chucky goes :Im sorry sir " said the ticket agent .

"We cant allow animals in the theatre. .

" The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the bird down his overalls ,.

He returned to the booth , bought a ticket and entered the theatre He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge.

The movie started and the rooster began to squirm , the old farmer unbuttoned his fly so chucky could stick his head out and watch the movie.

Marge whispered Mildred what?"said Marge" I think that guy next to me is a pervert .

Marge, what makes you think that ?." ask marge He undid his pants and he has his thing out, whispered Mildred .

Well don't worry about it said Marge

Hell at our age we've seen em all .

I thought so too "said Mildred"

" but this ones eating my Popcorn "!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~

Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work.
The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives.
After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing.
The following week they met up again to compare notes.
Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat.
When all the other people had left,
I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels.
He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!'
The engaged woman giggled and said, that's pretty much my story!
When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto heeled shoes.
He was so turned on that we not only $crewed all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!
The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning.
I made arrangements for the kids to stay at their Grandma's.
I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume.
I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos.
I finished it off with a black mask.
When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?''

~~~~~~~~~~

The Vicar's Salary.

At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush within the congregation.

No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Manchester and Swindon stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Toyota every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private school education of his children!'

More sighs and loud applause.

Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a big smile, 'If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.'

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?'

Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his head in his hands and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: 'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, **** him'.

~~~~~~~~~~~

To End with a riddle

ï»¿Riddle of the Day

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn't have one.

The Pope has one but doesn't use it.

Clinton uses his all the time.

Bush is one.

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

.Cher claims that she took on 3

.We never saw Lucy use Desi's.

What is it?

V
V

Answer!

(this is pretty good )

The answer is:

HAHAHAHA

"A Last Name."

Time for a little laughter

2009-08-04T22:33:00.008+10:00

Gday everyone. Hope your all well where ever you maybe.Im feeling very relieved now my results are in from last tests. specialst doesn't need to see me for 12 months, Yippeee. but will see my Doctor in a couple weeks for my 3 monthly routine check up.
Ill be out and about getting a few more photo's of the lake in the nxt few days as its filling quickly ,a few more feet to go.

So tonight putting a little laughter into our lives with a few jokes . Enjoy .

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill... barefoot. BOTH ways.

Yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,There was no way in hell I was going to lay A bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it And how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of Thirty,

I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy!

I mean, compared to my Childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you Don't know how good you've got it!I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet If we wanted to know something,

We had to go to the damn library and Look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write Somebody a letter, with a pen! .....Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters!

You wanted to Steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you Were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it !

and we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!

When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school,Your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you Just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videoGames with high-resolution 3-D graphics!

We had the Atari 2600!With gamesLike 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You Actually had to use your Imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or Screens, it was just one screen Forever!And you could never win.

The game just kept getting Harder and harder and Faster and faster until you died!

Just like LIFE

! You had to use a Little book called a TV Guide to find out what was On!

You were screwed when it Came to channel surfing! You had to get off Your ass and walk over to the TV to change the Channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons On Saturday Morning.

Do you Hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait

ALL WEEK

For cartoons, you spoiled Little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat Something up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that! That's exactly what I'm talking about!

You kids Today have got it too easy.

You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted Five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,The over 30 Crowd

*~*~*~*

The Postman

One Monday morning the Postman is motorcycling through the neighbourhood on his usual route, delivering the mail.

As he approached one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.
His wonder was cut short by Derek, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and wine bottles for the recycling bin.
''Morning, Derek, looks like you guys had a great party last night!" the Postman comments. Derek, in obvious pain, replies 'Actually we had it Saturday night.
This is the first time I've felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning.
We had about fifteen couples, from around the neighbourhood, over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild.
We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing
'WHO AM I.'
The Postman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play 'WHO AM I?" "Well, All the guys go into the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet.
Then the women try to guess who it is."

The Postman laughs and says, "Sounds like fun.

I'm sorry I missed that."

'Probably a good thing you did,' Derek responded.

'Your name came up seven times....'

~~~~~~~

THE BOTTLE OF WINE

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish
you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see
a bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona
when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the
Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with
the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at
everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown
bag on the seat next to Sally.
'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine.
I got it for my husband.'
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
'Good trade

*~*~*~*~*~*

A senior citizen

A Southampton senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car saleroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the M27, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more.Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, bluelights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly gent as he floored it to 110 mph, then 120, then 130 mph. Suddenly, he thought,

"What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!"

So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes.

Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend.

If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.

"The man looked very seriously at the policeman and replied, "Years ago, My wife ran off with a policeman.

I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman.

*~*~*~*~*

Lake Mulwala Pt 2

2009-07-27T22:22:00.006+10:00

Hi Everybody, I havent disappeared! Just been waiting to get a few photo's of the water flowing into the Lake again .I tryed to take them standing as close to the same spots as photo's in previous blog in case you would like to compare them.

A few people have ask how do they empty the lake, I can honestly say I don't know. I have ask a few people and all I get is they think the weir gates are closed futher up stream to stop the water flowing into the Lake .We know the gates are opened on the Yarrawonga weir to release and drain the lake. .

I took all these photo's a few days apart to show the water starting to flow and slowly rise.

Lake Mulwala is expected to be full by the end of August early September.

Once again click to enlarge any or all photo's

I took these two photo's Sunday under grey sky and a very cold 9celius still day,not even a ripple on the water.
Further around the lake a few fisherman trying there luck to catch Murray Cod.

This one causing the only ripple.

The Swim area of lake I took these 2 Above and below a couple days apart

One of the many logs, stumps nearly submerged

Boat ramp Yarrawonga Victoria still well out of water.

Standing on Boat ramp in Yarrawonga

A view from Boat ramp Yarrawonga all the stumps are disappearing under the water

Standing on boat ramp Mulwala N.S.W.No sign of the green rubbish bin its covered by the water.

See last post

Looking from Mulwala across the lake You can see the Paradise queen on the Victorian side Yarrawonga.

You can see the water mark on the tree still about 8 to 10 ft still to go..

Love the colour of the sky at sunset over looking the lake.

The End.

I promise to get around to visiting you all in the next few days.

A drive around Lake Mulwala

2009-07-12T00:10:00.002+10:00

G'day All.

I hope your all well and the weather is being kind to you were ever you maybe, .

its been very cold here getting down to -2c during the night and today had a high of 12c . Bbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrr. bring on summer.

Carol's been here for the last few days, and she drove me to one of my medical appointments for tests. And is now giving Pauline and Myself some much needed lessons on Facebook mainly on applications and Farm town..

On returning home from holiday's We found the Lake had been drained to try kill of the green weed with the frost. at this stage we have hardly had a decent frost. so time will tell if its been a success. So with camera in hand went for a drive over the bridge and along Mulwala . side taking a few photo's then back into Yarrawonga for a few more photo's . Its been a very big tourist attraction as its only the second time ive seen it empty in 20 years..

Now on with some photo's of Lake Mulwala .

Well everybody ill be around visiting you all in the next few days.

Please click to enlarge all photo's for a better look.

Standing on the boat ramp on the New South Wales side of the lake

Would you Ski in this after seeing the lake empty
Take a closer look its a large green bin covered in weed

Traffic bridge between Victoria and New south wales

Crossing the bridge into Victoria

Emily took the next couple of photo's while I was driving on the bridge

Paradise Queen left high and dry
Rylie and Maddi walking over the swimming section of the lake

A closer look of the Paradise queen

Boat ramp well out of the water on the Victorian side

The yacht launching ramp

A little further around near the Yacht club

Ending with a beautiful winter sunset over the empty lake .

Swan Hill Pioneer Settlement Part 8

2009-06-28T22:20:00.009+10:00

Gday all
Put on your walking shoes and come join me in a stroll through Swan Hill pioneer village. I must warn you it will take a few hrs.

Once again click on any or all to enlarge pics.
Pauline outside the Swan Hill pioneer settlement.

The first thing we see is Mum feeding her Joey.

Then this gentleman on his Penny Farthing cycle, now this looks like hard exercise.

The old car was carrying a lot of school kids
waving and having fun.

We went for a very uncomfortable ride in this carriage around the settlement.

Along the main street.A very uncomfortable looking invalid bed inside the Chemist.

Potions line the shelves inside the Chemist.
Lower Murray Inn, pub.

The kegs on the counter inside the pub.

An Old wine press outside (looks like they made their own wine).

Click image to enlarge

As we went past here the lady asked us to come in and play dressup and of cause we did with lots of fun and laughter

I've been pinned in to my outfit and Paulines getting pinned into her outfit. We all look like we have put on weight But alas! we all have our winter clothes on Hence why were getting pinned into the outfits.

Carol and Pauline being quite the ladies.

The three of us all dressed up.

Hahaha we had fun getting dressed up in these costumes.

A one room cottage

Mud brick kitchen,

Click Image to read description.

This home must have belonged to a wealthy owner.

See the dinning room Below

they even owned a washing machine out the back

and a cellar out the back
inside the cellar

This Shelter made from malley roots was being used as a shelter for the horse

as we walked through the streets
We come past this open shed that housed quite a few carriages I have only posted a few.

this one is called the sociable

inside post office.

look at that switchboard

the Traveling school
A horse drawn caravan and the bath outside.

It was to dark to take a photo inside.I couldn't see a stove to cook on but it had a chimney..

I hope you all enjoyed your stroll around the settlement.

these are only a few of the photo's I took.

Next stop Home sweet Home .

MY YOUNGEST "JOANNE" TURNS 40

2009-06-23T14:44:00.006+10:00

Joanne's Birthday cake

SURPRISE! SURPRISE!

Joanne shed a tear of happiness when Colin pesented her with his gifts before he placed this beautiful pendant around her neck .(She thought she was getting a new laptop).
One side of the Pendant,their children Timothy 10, Kara7 and Liam 5.
and a pair of Diamond earings,

on the other side Laura Jane 5.4.1998~~13.4.1998

Joanne and Colin having fun

Joanne, Megan Kara. Timothy and Liam.

Joanne and Megan have been best friends for 36 years .

Megan Flew in from Darwin And surprised Joanne on her arrival

Mum and Joanne having a birthday hug

Hehehe. Kissing cousins ~Joanne and Geoff

Geoff flew in for Queenland for the party.

.
Carol (Cazz) and a friend Bi

Party time

Sisters. Donna, D.I.L Christine, and Jenny

Ouchhhh

My 4 beautiful Grown up kids,

L:R; Joanne, Donna. Carol and Gary .

Marc and Jen .
Serayha in background

having fun

The Car My beautiful Grandaughter Serayha,
4 more beautiful Grandchildren.

LR: Maddison, Rylie,Emily and Nathan

I think Alan telling Megan a joke and Carols Hubby Ian listening in

Gary with his two Beautiful daughters Alyce and Emily and their boyfriends

A few of the 80 + party goers

Awwwwww what happened here

All the ladies having a chat.

Speeches: Colin,Liam.Joanne,Kara and Timothy

3 of my neices

Joanne cutting the cake with Liam waiting for a little piece.

OOOpppsI forgot the camera when she was opening her gifts the following morning.

lots of jewellery, gifts for the new house and enough money to buy her own laptop if she wishes to do so.

THATS ALL FOLK I WILL GET AROUND TO VISITING YOU ALL AFTER I HAVE HAD A REST

NEXT STOP BACK TO SWAN HILL

Swan hill

2009-06-17T23:29:00.027+10:00

Gday All. I hope your all well. and not too hot or too cold in your part of the world.Were in the grip of winter and its been very chilly, last night we had a low of -2c and today a high of 16c and sunny, but I didnt see much sun as I was Playing pennant indoor carpet bowls our Team won 23shots to 11 so was a good win.

Well folk im off to Melbourne friday afternoon for the weekend A flying visit as its my Youngest Daughter Joanne's 40th birthday Saturday 20th So Party time (Grease Theme)
, and for me a big catch up with family, relatives, and friends. IM sure a lot of fun and laughter will be had by all..

Now on with a few more photo's once again click on any to enlarge..

As we were driving towards Swan Hill Carol spied these Kangaroo's and Emu's behind a fence so pulled over so I could get a few photo's ,among many others that were also taking photo's

Night view of Carriages Resaurant

Daylight

As you walk up the front steps its like walking onto a well cared railway platform

On the platform We enter here for dinner

the pressed metal ceiling

Looking along the carriage restaurant

Pauline studing the menu

Relaxing with Crown Lager before dinner

Dinner served. unfortunatly Carol wasn.t feeling very well and stayed back in the motel

Dinner: White fish.scollops, prawns. camilari,chips and salad.
was so Yummmy.

Daylight

Night view of the old red rattler.I took this as we left the restaurant and walked back to Motel for a good nights rest .

Next stop we head to Swan hill pioneer settlement

Adelaide Trip. ,Wentworth Jail PT 8

2009-06-14T22:19:00.012+10:00

Gday All. Hope alls well in your part of the world, Im very well, Thursday played Pennant We our Team won by 4 shots. Ohh boy was it cold traveling in the small bus I think the temp only got to 9c all day, Friday, Saturday I spent most of the day indoors keeping warm,was rather cool and Cloudy a high of 13C. Today the sun was shining and was to nice to be indoors all day sunny top temp 15.6c so spent a few hours rehanging and putting my plants back in the fernery. then Emily and I went for a drive around the lake Its empty and walk along the foreshore. Took a few photo's but thats another blog.. Thats my weekend. NOW ON WITH A FEW MORE PHOTO"S FROM MY HOLIDAY.
Once again please enlarge any for a better look..

Front of Wentworth Prison
1879-- 1927

The Governors House attached to the prison .

, You have to go through the Governors house and pay a small entrance fee before entering the prison

Carol leading the way. Male Cells

The Male Cells

I wonder what the girls are looking at

This! The harsh conditions in the Prisoners cell No bed just a thin mattress on a concrete floor
Ohhhh my. dont try this you will go around the bend

The Knocker
laundry mangle

laundry copper and mangle
The womens section I wonder if the the broken fence is were the men tryed to get in or the women out...( just joking)
Female cell

Let me out! ,Let me out! im innocent

I just had to take a photo of this to show you

The Back door

whipping rack

In the yard . enlarge to be able to read

How would you like to be chained and left in the baking sun or pelting rain

This sign on the wall behind the tree stump

barren yard

A lonely tree can you see the old water pump
with the fire bucket full in readyness of fire .

Next Stop Swan Hill for Dinner and overnight stay a look around before we head for home..

Big Lizzie Part 7

2009-06-10T23:40:00.001+10:00

Gday All. Nothing to report its toooooo cold to be doing any outside activities..

.Today had a high of 11c and a very icy breeze blowing . Tonight expecting low of -2c high 9c tomorrow. and Ive had a call to play indoor pennant thursday Bus leaves for Wangaratta at 8.30am..BRRRR will need the thick woollies for traveling.. .

Well now on with a few more holiday photo's.

Please click to enlarge all photo's

On our way to Orange world. we see this sign so had to turn left and go see Big lizzie
Please enlarge to be able to read

Pauline standing in front of big Lizzie.

Hahaha. I bet you all were expecting to see a big Lizard as we were when we saw the sign.

Big Lizzie

Pauline going to read the sign

enlarge to read

A close of the machinary in the park.

Orange world

All aboard

Brian our driver and his Family run and operate this 50acre working property Brian tells A couple of jokes then we all sing Waltzing Matilda before we start a very informative tour. After our tour we were given a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and tasting of fresh orange blossom honey it was so yummy we all purchased a jar of honey , bottle of orange juice and a few souviners.

The Big Orange
the start of the tour

This is a variety of the Shaddock below.

The blood orange has crimson, colored flesh.

This fruit has no pulp or juice
Its peel is loaded with fragrant oils , the zest has many uses, can be used on fish, in alcoholic drinks, or in cooking.

A large sweet Valencia orange

The Shaddock is the largest orange in the world, and is ancient ancester of the grapefruit mainly used for making marmalaide (Jam). They range from cantaloupe to small watermelon in size and have a very thick rind and the flesh ranges from pink to rose in colour.

Pauline having a rest

its been a long day

Back at the car Carol tasting one of her purchases while waiting to squeezzzzze our purchases in between the suitcases and the wine.

Next Stop Wentworth

Midura Part 6

2009-06-06T17:30:00.000+10:00

Gday All.

Not a lot to report, I went back to bowls Thusday played 2 games our team won 1 lost 1..

I have the local handy man in at the moment Painting, repairing and replacing all my shade mesh on the fernery and extending for a new project,Will show this when completed. Also one of the large sails over back patio has been taken down and away getting repaired and cleaned one of the seams has warn and come adrift ,when that one is returned they will take the smaller one down and get that cleaned and check all the seams. so they should look like new once again. The weathers turned quite chilly, Todays forecast showers and top temp of 14c . Its only 11c =about 51f Brrrr at the moment and NO rain it wont get any warmer today. well I suppose it is winter, but cant complain the country side is starting to green up as is my back Lawn/

Now a few more photo's of my trip.

Please click to enlarge all Pics.

The Melbourne click this link to read more about it.

Carol just about to go on aboard Pauline in the door way

Above and Below: The huge Steam engines

Pauline and Carol soaking up the sun

Jeanette and Pauline in the Wheelhouse

Going into the Loch

Water is rising

Gates starting to open

On our way
A private paddle steamer Moored near the owners property

Mildura weir click to read about the weir

Close up of a beautiful old Red Gum

A very peaceful Scene

One of many Holiday house boats that use the river

A few of the lovely old Gum trees that line the banks

Coats on even though the sun was shining all day. as evening was fast approaching it got quite cool as we alighted at the end of the cruise.

Leaving the wharf to tie up for the Evening

Sailing into the Sunset.

Cheerio for now

Next stop, Big Lizzie & Orange world.

Anguston Part5

2009-05-30T20:45:00.004+10:00

Gday All.
Im very happy to report that all went extremely well with my yearly Colonoscopy. YIPPEEEE! I dont have to have another for 3 years , My specialist said ive made 5 years since being diagnosed with Cancer, and seeing all went well im going to live to be an old lady LOL but will still have to have ongoing blood tests forever and a day.
Ill be around to visiting you all soon as I can as I have Carol here watching over me , to make sure I follow Doctors orders and get plenty of rest for the next few days..

Now on with a few more photo's of my trip.

A walk though the farmers Market.

were all produce is locally grown and sold by Farmers

Yummy Home made chocolates from contented cows

Carol tasting some home made dryed and cured meats

home made sponges .honey . ETC.

A walk through the park To see Peter

The bronze Statue of Peter

Above and below: Peters Plaque's
please\ click to enlarge
To be able to read

Angus Park well known for their dryed fruit , nut, and yummy chocolates
Pic below

Yulumba winery Tununda

Heading up the path
can we make it up the path

We made it

Look who is at the bar
Having a small taste
Very happy with my purchase

Just resting

In the garden

Just a few of my Yummy purchases

Heading home next stop Mildura

Barossa Valley PT4

2009-05-26T04:07:00.006+10:00

Gday all.
I Hope you are all keeping well and healthy, and the weathers kind to you where ever you maybe.We have had some lovely sunny days , last night we got some much needed rain,a couple of very heavy down pours enough to water the garden, No sign of rain today but the weather is much cooler today and central heating on ..
Iwent to Drs and had my Pre admission today, go into hospital Thursday for my procedure Friday.Also got good results from Blood Tests.
Now on with a few more Photo's of my trip..We went to quiet a few wineries in the Barossa but im only posting a couple of my favorites.

The House of grape liqueurs,wine,antiques & roses

Inside The Foyer

Above: One of the glass cabinets

A few Photo's of the Antiques in the grand ballroom.The collection from Early 18th and 19th century and has been collected from all over the world By Mr Thumm. The porcelain is mainly from France & Germany.

Please Click to enlarge all pics for a better view.

one of the many cabinets
A few glass cabinets aroung the room
this one is dated 1785
Just a few of antiques in glass cabinets
Pauline admiring one of the tables from the time of Louis xvi

this piece is from the Baroque period

A couple more cabinets full of beautiful Dinner services

As you all can see the 3 of us made purchases here including a bottle of grape syrup each, if the wines not sweet enough for your taste you add a very small drop to sweeten or add to ice cream or a milk drink.. just a few uses for the grape syrup. Now out the back and into the rose garden

Alpine sunset Uk 1973

Coronation Gold

Amadeus red

Golden Years Yellow Harkness UK

WE Stopped here to stretch our legs and get a bite to eat for lunch .Carol headed to the bakery were she purchased a nice hot cup of potato and leek soup, Pauline and I went next door for A feed of fish and chips before hitting the road again.

While driving along we noticed a sign to the KEG factory, and of course we had to go have a look

A chair made from a Keg,(Barrel)
It was comfy but would think if filled with ice and drinks would be very cold on the rear end.

A few assorted kegs for sale.

Here one of the friendly staff was explaining the best way to use the small Keg.

The window you see is for viewing work in progress,Unfortunetly the workers had finished for the day.and couldn't see any in production

We were told at the visitors centre this was a must see To taste the Meads unique to this area, as we driving though this area of course we stopped to sample the Meads.Ports and wines that were on offer, I must say was well worth the stop . After tasting the warm Meads , ports and wines, we all come away feeling quite warm inside and very happy with our Purchases.I purchased Scarlet Mead (Chocolate and Cinnaman)Ohh so nice
,a white port and a couple of bottles of
Sweet red late harvest Cabernet Sauvigon.
Not a lot of photo's here I was tooooo busy tasting and forgot the about the camera in my pocket.

Their Motto is.

WE GROW THE GRAPE.. MAKE THE WINE...BOTTLE IT., SELL IT TO YOU
.,AND YES!! WE DO DRINK IT..

I took these Photo's of the Murals on the vats depicting the history of wine making, I only took a few as there was quite a line of them

Now its time to find our Motel and get a good nights rest before we hit the road again .A few more days before we make it home.. Pt5 to follow..

Cheers \_/ \_/

Hahndorf Part 3

2009-05-21T19:50:00.003+10:00

Gday All,
I hope your keeping well wherever you maybe. I feeling very well had Drs check up today all went well, its time for my annual tests.. Had my blood tests today . Now I just have to make appointments for Ulta sound and Mammagram, and I have a Colonoscopy next week Ohhh Yuk!!! not looking forward to taking the dreaded fleet I shudder at the thought of it .

Now on with my holiday.

We decided to have extra day in Adelaide and go for a drive into Hahndorf One of the Adelaide Hills's most famous towns, Hahndorf is Australia's oldest surviving German settlements. There's still a strong German flavour in Hahndorf, most evident in the smallgood outlets and German bakeries that line the bustling main street.
.
Please click to enlarge all pics.

Top: Driving into Hahndorf .
Lets stroll along the main street in all its Autumm glory..

this needs no caption
Pioneer Gardens You can see the bust of Captain hahn
Capt, Hahn

click to enlarge

Carol in the Puppet Shop

German Arms
The next two are on the pavement outside the leather shop

the lolly shop
above and below : inside the Lolly shop ;

one of the bakery's 1839 above the shop
Cafe'

The craft shop

Above & below: a group of shops

The name explains the shop

Lovely old souvenir shop

I took this one as we got back to the car, the Autumm leaves and a little lady painting her fence.

Cheerio for now I hope you all continue to enjoy my trip..

Next stop Barossa Valley

Adelaide Part 2

2009-05-15T22:06:00.007+10:00

Gday All.

We arrived in Adelaide, after much detouring , Sight seeing, and getting (Betty our GSP ) quite angry at times. We immediately went to our friends Danny & Lynda's home, whom I hadn't seen for 4 years. Lynda had prepared a lovely dinner cooked for our arrival. There was alot of chatter and catching up at the dinner table and into the night before leaving for our Motel, then catching up the next day for some relaxing retail therapy.

Please click to enlarge all pics.

Jen. Lynda, Pauline & Carol having a rest before we finish our shopping.

Before a few days of sight-seeing.

Off on a little sightseeing

Carol, Pauline, Lynda & Danny
at Mount Lofty Summit.

The Flinders Column.
Some information about The Flinders Column.

Click to enlarge.

Sadly the very low cloud cover prevented any scenery photo's up here.

All nearing the car to head back down the Mountain.

The sun come out as we were comming down the Mt Lofty.

A walk through the park along the Torrens river; Adelaide.

A beautiful old Rotunda.

Along the the Riverside.
Another view of the Riverside.

Close up of one of the black swans

Some of the beautiful trees throughout the parklands.
A friendly tourist passing by stopped and ask if we would all like our photo taken and of cause I accepted without hesitation.

A Close up of a couple of the lovely trees in the park

Colonel William Light.

Lynda, Danny & Pauline reading one of the plaques below.

Colonel William Light

Click image to enlarge and read.

Another Plague

beautiful Cloud formation.

A closer View.

Sunset. Time for a few last drinks and dinner with Danny & Lynda at the local club before we headed off the next day to the

Barossa Valley..

Night all Part 3 to follow ..

Trip to South Australia. Part1

2009-05-10T00:43:00.004+10:00

Gday all,
Hope all is well in your part of the world, I am very well,and back from my holiday were a lot of fun and laughter was shared along the way .I said in my last post that only Carol and Myself were off on holiday.Well As I was walking out the door I decided to check my answering machine. Carol had rung, and ask me to ring my Sister Pauline,. On doing so, and after talking for a few minutes Pauline excepted to to come along with us.So off I went to help her pack her case I think we we were on our way within half hour. First stop, Shepparton to Visit My Dear friend Merle before heading to Carols for the evening ,for a fresh start the next morning.

Now on with a few photo's, I have so many 812 in all I wont bore you with them all. I will pick out a few from each day and post a few in Parts. Hope you all enjoy my photo's. PT2 to follow at a later date.

Myself and Merle
Jen and Pauline.

A Last minute check before we leave Carols

All packed ready to leave Carols.

Echuca

Having lunch overlooking the murray river

Carol
Pauline and Carol A little retail therapy in Mildura before heading towardsAdelaide
Nearing Victoria ~ south Australian border . Fruit Quarantine station
where all vehicles are stopped and searched for fresh fruit and veg.
No fresh produce allowed to be taken over border .
Car Search. Nothing to declare as I was aware of this happening

A little of the fruit & veg, that has been confiscated from other Vehicles

All clear on our way again. Under the arch into South Australia

Next Stop Paringa .A little of it reads.The largest black stump in Australia was sighted while near Chowilla Station 56ks up stream , The 600year old River red Gum had fallen in the river in the 1917 floods

Click to enlarge to be able to read it all

The Funny dunny A piece of stump

The black stump

This photo was taken looking through the windscreen during a torrential downpour. A couple of hrs from Adelaide. so end of photo's for the day.

Cheerio for now Keep smiling.

I Promise to visit you all in the next few days

Going on a holiday

2009-04-24T18:05:00.001+10:00

G'day everybody. Hope all are well wherever you are. Im very well and this will be my last post for a couple of weeks,as My daughter Carol ( Cazz) and I are heading off to Adelaide, South Australia to see friends and a little touring about. I'm driving over to Carol's in Mooroopna Saturday. First stop A visit and a Cuppa at my Dear friend Merle's in Shepparton Sshhhh dont tell her , then we're heading off Sunday.

Bye for now, cameras packed, see you all when I return.

Here are a couple of jokes while im away

Schools In!

HAHA 11year olds

A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment:
To get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.
One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken

.' 'What's the morale of that story?' asked the teacher.

'Don't put all your eggs in one basket!'

'Very good,' said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, 'Our family are farmers too.

But we raise chickens for the meat market.

One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is,

'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'.

' 'That was a fine story Sarah.'

Michael, do you have a story to share?'
'Yes.

My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon.

Aunty Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit.

She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.

She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets.

Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke.

And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.'

'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher,

'what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?'

'Stay away from Aunty Sharon when she's been drinking.

~~~~~
Whoops!!

Grandmas don’t know everything

Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.
He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her,
'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?'She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.'Little Tony said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds.
And Jimmy 's mum wants to talk to you!'

~~~~~

Zachary.
Little Zachary was doing very badly in maths.

His parents had tried everything Tutors, Mentors, flash cards, Special learning centers.

In short, everything they could think of to help his math.

Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school.

After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face.

He didn't even kiss his mother Hello.

Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying.

Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed.

She called him down to dinner.

To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before.

This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.

Finally, little Zachary brought home his report card.

He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books.

With great trepidation, his Mum looked at it and to her great surprise, little Zachary got an 'A' in math.

She could no longer hold her curiosity.

She went to his room and said, 'Son, what was it?

Was it the nuns?' Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no.

'Well, then,' she replied, Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms?

'WHAT WAS IT ALREADY?'

Little Zachary looked at her and said, 'Well, on the first day of school when

I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.'

~~~~~

Touching words from the mouths of babes.

What does 'Love' mean? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does 'love' mean?'
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

~~~~~
'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca- age 8

~~~~~
'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4

~~~~~
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5

~~~~~
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissie - age 6

~~~~~
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4

~~~~~
'Love is when my mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7

~~~~~
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mummy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8

~~~~~
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

~~~~~
'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,' Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7

~~~~~
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6

~~~~~
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8

~~~~~
'My mummy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6

~~~~~
'Love is when Mummy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5

~~~~~
'Love is when Mummy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7

~~~~~
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day'
Mary Ann - age 4

~~~~~
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones..'
Lauren - age 4

~~~~~
'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7

~~~~~
'Love is when Mummy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross..'
Mark - age 6

~~~~~
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8

~~~~~

And the final one -

- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said,
'Nothing, I just helped him cry'
When there is nothing left, that is when you find out that love is all you need.

Schools out!

~~~~~

Dust Storm on Wednesday

2009-04-19T22:40:00.004+10:00

G.day everybody.

Hope your all keeping well. We are still having beautiful sunny days apart from a lovely visit from the sand man last Wednesday. My next door neighbour telephoned me to let me know that a dust storm was approaching and to shut all the windows and doors. This was done in a hurry and then I quickly grabbed the camera, ran outside to have a look and take these pictures.

All these photos were taken a few minutes a part (click to enlarge)
Looking towards the Hwy watching the dust storm approach.

A few minutes later

Same time Looking towards the park

Right over my back yard

A little later over the

back yard

Looking towards hwy a little later.

The dust was so heavy the main hwy was shut for a few hours due to poor visability.

Looking towards the park

Gary spent spent a long time cleaning and polishing the BBQ before he left for home, Now look at the mess all covered in Dust within a couple of hours

I forgot to run and shut the laundry door

Ohh what a mess

Dirt and red dust covering everything in sight.

Too much dirt and dust to wipe off the surface. Only method was to sweep it all off before the cleaning process could even begin.

This is also only a small portion of dust and dirt on the table.

Later in the day hopefully the wind and dust has passed .

Now time to clean up

Thats all folk, I will be around to visit you all in the next few days.

My Easter

2009-04-15T23:59:00.003+10:00

Gday everyone,

I hope you all had a fantastic Easter as I had with my family , Gary, Chris and family arrived Good Friday for weekend . Carol , Ian, Serayha and friends came Sunday for lunch and stayed overnight.

Sunday Morning Myself, Christine, Alyce & Lee, Emily & Jarryd all went to our local market held at the showground, Where you can purchase a huge range of goodies.

IE: Books, sunglasses, hats , bags, fruit and veg, tools, plants . just to name a few stalls.
Then it was home for few drinks, late lunch,then the boys went inside to watch the football.

Monday: Gary, Chris, Nathan, Emily , Jarryd watched the football with me before heading home .Our team the" "Tigers" played the "bulldogs" hoping for a win .

BOO ~HOO
"Tigers" Lost

Now on with a few photo's.

Battle of market car park

the car is parked in there somewere

just arrived at Market
from a little bric a brac
to socks
concrete garden ornaments
plants
back to find the car.

cars parked are far as you can see

Grandson Kayne at computer
Relaxing having drinks before BBQ lunch
Still relaxing
Gary Cooking BBQ, Steak ,sausages,marinated pork spare ribs in plum sauce.

served with salads made by the girls.
Nice meals and good weekend was had by all.

A visit from a friend of 50 years plus

2009-04-08T17:27:00.003+10:00

G'day everyone. Hope you're all doing well where ever you may be. I'm very well and had a lovely visit from Peter (Holties House) last night who shared a roast lamb dinner follwed by waffles, icecream with mixed berries and a couple bottles of wine and staying up to all hours of the morning having a good catch up. Very pleased to hear Vicki's health has improved immensly. Peter is now on his way home to Queensland (safe travelling Peter).

Now here are a couple of photos:

Peter getting the wine from the bar fridge to have with Dinner

Peter and Myself rosy cheeked starting a second bottle of wine
*~*~*~*~*

Time for a few jokes

TAX TIME

A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions.

"He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks,

"What's your occupation?"

"I'm a Lady of the night," she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to rephrase that."

The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".

"No, that still won't work.

Try again."

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer.

" The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year."

"Chicken Farmer it is."

*~*~*~*

Little boy on the bus

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.

'The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.

'The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.

'The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!

'The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book

.The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,'Maybe you should wear a condom and put your pants on backwardsi nstead of your collar :-)

~*~*~*~*~

Bedtime

Husband: Oh, come on.

Wife: Leave me alone!

Husband: It won't take long.

Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.

Husband: I can't sleep without it.

Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?

Husband: Because I'm Hot.

Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times.

Husband: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.

Wife: If you love me you'd be more considerate.

Husband: You don't love me anymore.

Wife: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.

Husband: Please...come on

Wife: All right, I'll do it.

Husband: What's the matter?

Need a flashlight?

Wife: I can't find it.

Husband: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!

Wife: There! Are you satisfied?

Husband: Oh, yes.

Wife: Is it up far enough?

Husband: ! Oh, that's good.

Wife: Now go to sleep, and from now on when you want the window open,
Do it yourself.

NOW!

what were you expecting?

*~*~*~*~*

. Always try to help a friend in need

Believe in yourself be brave...but it's ok to be afraid sometimes
Study hard
Give lots of kisses Laugh often
Don't be overly concerned with your weight, it's just a number
Always try to see the glass half full
Meet new people, even if they look different to you
Remain calm, even when it seems hopeless
Take lots of naps.
.Be weird when ever you have the chance
Love your friends, no matter who they are
Don't waste food
RELAX
Take an occasional risk
Try to have a little fun each day.
it's important Work together as a team
Share a joke with friends Fall in love with someone..
.and say 'I love you' often.
Express yourself creatively
Be conscious of your appearance .
Always be up for surprises.
Love someone with all of your heart.
Share with friends.
Watch your step
It will get better.
There is always someone who loves you more than you know.
Exercise to keep fit.
Live up to your name.
Seize the Moment.
Hold on to good friends; they are few and far between.
Indulge in the things you truly love.
Cherish every EVERTDAY At the end of the day... PRAY....... and close your eyes.

And smile at least once a day

*~*~*~*

Cherrio for now, i promise to get around to visit you all in the next couple of days

It's time for a some laughter

2009-04-01T23:54:00.001+11:00

Grandma
I was out walking with my 4-year-old granddaughter.

She picked up something from the ground and started to put it in her mouth.

I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my granddaughter asked.

"Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs," I replied.

At this point, my granddaughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Grandma, how do you know all this stuff?

You are so smart."

I was thinking quickly. "All Grandma 's know this stuff.

It's on the Grandma test.

You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Grandma."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

"Oh.....I get it!" she beamed,

"So if you don't pass the test you have to be the Grandpa."

"Exactly," I replied with a big smile on my face.

`~~~~~~~~

A story of a burglar

The bold burglar

He opened the window, and then crept in As quiet as a mouse

.He looked around for a place to hide,'Till the folks were all asleep,

Then said he, "With their money I'll take a quiet sneak."So under the bed the burglar crept;He crept up close to the wall;

He didn't know it was an old maid's room Or he wouldn't have had the gall.

He thought of the money that he would steal

,As under the bed he lay but at nine o'clock he saw a sight That made his hair turn gray

.At nine o'clock the old maid came in;"I am so tired," she said

;She thought that all was well that night so she didn't look under the bed.

She took out her teeth and her big glass eye, and the hair from off her head.

The burglar, he had forty fits as he watched from under the bed.

From under the bed the burglar crept,he was a total wreck.

The old maid wasn't asleep at all and she grabbed him by the neck

.She didn't holler, or shout or call, She was as cool as a clam,

She only said, "The Saints be praised,

At last I've got a man!"From under the pillow a gun she drew,,and to the burglar she said,"Young man, if you don't marry me,I'll blow off the top of your head!

"She held him firmly by the neck,He hadn't a chance to scoot

He looked at the teeth and the big glass eye,

And said, "Madam, for Pete's sake, shoot!"

~~~~~~~~

The Blonde

I prefer to think that Blondes (bless their hearts) are all LATERAL THINKERS?

Another Blonde moment A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates

'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '?

The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'

The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.

' So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought

(I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions,

to which she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter,

'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?' The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow

.St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions? St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!' 'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?' 'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.

' St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.'

And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven.

How, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions,

I found this the easiest to answer.' 'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.' 'Andy??' 'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that,deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?' 'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled.' And the blonde entered Heaven...

~~~~~~~~~

Technically Challenged?

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard , the 11 year
old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to
come over.
Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID
ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Richard grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error
before?''
No,' I replied.
'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it
out.'
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

I used to like the little shit.

~~~~~~~~~

Irish versus Blonde
Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing.Paddy replied,

'We're supposed to be finding the fook'n height of this flagpole, but we don't have a fook'n ladder.

'The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down.

She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches..

.Then, she walked off.Mick said to Paddy, 'Isn't that just like a blonde! We need the fook'n height and she gives us the fook'n length.'

*~*~*~*